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Adventure

My fiancĂ© and I love to hike and camp. We have nice tents and decided last week we are going to buy a camper. With koda being young we didn’t want to rough it to much anymore and with her going to be prego two more times we needed something family oriented. So next week we are getting our camper.its a simple pop up camper with stove, sink, shower, toilet, fridge, beds, and table. Something simple is all we need. Easy to pull with my vehicle. This weekend we will be in the upstate for Halloween. Can’t wait to see family and have kodas first Halloween. He’s growing so fast and doing so much. Everyone said six months was the time for lots of change. But I didn’t think this much lol. He is 7 months today and it feels like yesterday I was cutting the cord! Time has flown by! We did fall pictures today and they turned out great! It makes me excited for all the new adventures we are gonna go on!

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Anger

When I was a child/ teenager I was diagnosed with rage disorder ( now called IED) intermittent explosive disorder,And add/adhd, dyslexia, discalculia, and a processing disorder. Instead of your normal anger or rage it’s about 20xs the rage. A blind rage that you can’t control. It’s been a huge block in my life. It’s tiring and it’s easy for me to get into this state. I do take medicine to help.i meditate everyday. I also have learned to stop think and control. I’ve never physically hurt anyone ( that I can remember). I have not had any issues in a couple years now. My lovely fiancĂ© is always there to help me and there really has not been anything to set me off. I have been kinda tame for awhile now. What is it like to have blind rage, failed relationships, and a uncontrollable urge to hurt someone? It sucks! It’s tiring, it’s unhealthy, and it’s annoying. Being ” that guy” is not a good thing sometimes. Because I’m naturally stronger than an ox it sucks worse. Also I’m a Sagittarius which is the number one sign not to fuck with… Sagittarius people have the worst temper. I wanted to deny it for a long time. I am coming to terms with it more and more. It took me a couple days to write this because I went back and forth with what to say and how to bring awareness to this disorder. The first thing to do is get help. The second thing to do is realize your triggers and stay away from them. The third thing to do is realize that fighting someone is not the answer. Hurting yourself is not the answer and breaking things is not the answer. The fourth thing to do is realize that you are angry and tell someone that you need space. Sit down because it’s freaking impossible to hit hurt or break anything when your on the ground. This disorder is not the end. It’s hard, yes but it’s just another challenge in life!

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V- value

What is your value? What is your worth? How do you measure your value? Is it the debt your in? Is it how much money you have or don’t have? Is it your family? Is it the things you have? The house you live in? The projects you take on? The job you have? Finding value in your life means to see what really matters. If you are breathing then that’s something to value. If you are healthy then that’s something to value. If you have a roof over your head, food on the table, your beliefs that you stand by, and your self respect then everything else is a bonus. You might have heard that everyone is valuable…. . Is a rapist that steals and kills valuable? Is someone who lived their life doing nothing but crime valuable?? People place value on different things. Do you value your life?? Do you value breathing?? What is most valuable in your life? What is least valuable?? The people who challenge you most, are they valuable? Are they valuable to you? I use to think that the people who challenged me were not worth my time but indeed it’s those that need the most time. In trying to be a better me I have discovered that it doesn’t matter how much you change people have formed an opinion and keep it. I know that when my ex left me she pretty much said she didn’t care if I died or not. Is that placing a value on someone? Is that being a judge on someone’s life? I think so! I’m not one to judge and have forgiven All. There was a time in which I wanted to end someone’s life. I was placing value on a life. There was a time I wanted the beat the shit out of someone’s girlfriend. I was placing value on a life! When we talk about worth we say this person is worth this much because that’s what they have in assets. But what about what they are worth without assets? I challenge you to think of the people that challenge you the most and find every value you can about them. Every good thing and think of them as their value for a week. Don’t think about the bad. It will bring you to a new understanding of life and you will see that they stress you less!

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Mega church and truth

Recently I had a friend post a quote from the pastor of a mega church in sc. I have several friends who go to this church and I myself have been ONCE! I say once because out of thousands of sermons that are preached I happen to go when they were discussing homo sex! Now I don’t consider myself gay or lesbian or anything really, I consider myself a straight male. So why do I care if marriage is legal for all or not?? Well I have friends who are gay and it’s not right that they can’t get married. If my legal sex don’t change before I get married then it affects me. It’s true I have a personal interest in it. Anywho back to this perry noble guy. So I did some researchBon this guy and it seems he was molested by some dude when he was a kid. What does that matter??? Well it can sway his thoughts on homo marriage. This guys angle is that homosexuality is wrong and is a sin BUT………… Everyone sins so we should not judge others. He fully believes that marriage is between a man and woman. He believes that if you were born a male you should stay a male etc. so the question here is what makes this mega church different from the rest of the southern baptist churches ( besides him giving away Harley’s and cars, and t shirts by the ton and having huge concerts and being all about “being cool”), ???? It’s him welcoming the lgbt community in and telling them it’s ok to come to church and that its a safe place and all are welcome, but then letting them know that how they feel and live is a sin. He is trying to change people by material things. He is trying to change the lgbt community by telling them that ” everyone sins” so it’s ok that your gay but btw you are living in sin! Now I don’t believe in a heaven or hell but it must be scary for people who do and are gay and go to this church. He keeps followers because he is always changing up things and giving away things and talking about new age stuff and being , what I call shady accepting. This guy amuses me because he thinks that he is doing good when really he is just like every shady southern baptist preacher out there except he is more modernized. I’m NOT one to hate on anyone’s religion or views but this guy is crazy! He admits he is all about numbers( getting saved, baptized, membership, money, etc). In saying all that I’m just gonna leave some things here…… Take what you will from it, tear it apart, agree with it, I don’t care but just know this guy is shady!

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Soul cakes

The reason we carve pumpkins is because it’s a way to scare away any negative energy. People started out carving turnips and moved on to pumpkins. There’s another tradition, to make soul cakes. These treats are to bury or leave out on the alter to give to the gods and ancestors. Last night we made soul cakes so on Halloween we could bury them/ leave them on the family alter. We got a big pumpkin so we had lots of pumpkin left. They are delicious. There are tons of them! This weekend we are taking koda to boo in the zoo in Columbia. Another weekend of fun! I’m also preaching/ teaching on Samhain this weekend. To the whole congregation again! While making the soul cakes we thought about our ancestors and told stories of the ones that are departed from us. We thanked the gods and blessed the cakes. Today my son and I were in a store when it was robbed. No one was hurt and they caught the guy but I thanked the gods for protecting us. Everything I do I thank them! I came home and gave the earth some soul cake and thanked the gods for being there and making a shield between us and the guy. It’s a beautiful day and when koda wakes from his nap I am taking him outside to play in the backyard.

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