My son is extremely smart. It’s not because I’m biased. I get told ALL THE TIME how smart he is. He is Extremely intelligent. Along with being a lady killer ( I get told by people, even moms and grandparents that he’s the cutest kid they have ever seen). He is extremely well behaved ( more than I give him credit for). He is basically the perfect child. ( making up for non stop crying as a baby I guess). He is all boy. Loves to play with trucks and mud and dogs and flips off his tractors and laughs, John Deere tractors are really sturdy! He does absolutely love to play in a kitchen and loves to be gentle with all animals. ( caught him with a bee by the wings once petting it, no stings though!). He is a natural with all animals. They absolutely love him to! Even things like stray animals just naturally come to him. Wild animals as well. Birds, fish, squirrel… He’s a freaking male Snow White. ( I am the same way though).he absolutely loves EVERYTHING about music. He is going to play an instrument by 3 for sure. He went to the doctor for his 18 month check up and shots…. Everything turned out perfect except two things……. He does not say enough words… He signs better than me but he doesn’t say to many words ( about 30 or so). His doctor is concerned that his speech is delayed. We read to him constantly, talk to him constantly, he’s on an education program at freaking 1. Why isn’t he talking? The doctor seems to think it might be because he doesn’t want to or maybe he is just going to talk late. In any rate if in 3 months he doesn’t start jabbering out some serious words he has to go to speech therapy… The doctor was also concerned about autism. He hums and he doesn’t really play with children ( more adults) but they are not ready to throw him under the bus yet. They want to see him in 3 months to determine where he stands on the autism and speech thing. We refuse to believe that there could be anything wrong with him yet. He is still our perfect child! In three months we go back to the doctor and get some results.
https://www.facebook.com/teamdelorean/videos/10153763136669767/ interesting doc on minimum wage.
Our wedding day was one of the best days of my life! I honestly would say the best but my child being born is up there to. We had a fantastic time! It didn’t rain at all during the wedding or reception. We invited quite a few people and a lot of them came. We had some that couldn’t make it and some came late and some left early! It rained at the very end and at that point we were ready to go! Everyone had an awesome time! My phone has been blown up with everyone saying how they had an awesome time and how it was epic! We left the reception and checked into the hotel and had fun all night and all morning. We really only stopped to eat. We went shopping and then came back home for our little man! A couple things I learned about a wedding: 1. Between pictures, activitys, and the ceremony there is hardly any time to say hey to everyone. 2. There are crap tons of speeches and dances and more pictures. 3. As long as family and true friends are around, everyone else does not matter! 4. Cake is really good and really large!
We had quite a few hiccups that day. There were our share of things go wrong. But we had a blast and that’s all that matters. I’m pretty sure everyone was drunk and happy! Our country wedding was everything we wanted! Im not going to post pictures of the wedding because I believe weddings are private and if you are not someone I know then you don’t need to see! But this short brief overview will have to do. I did post pictures on Facebook but unless you are a serious stalker then you won’t see them. I get the professional and the video weds. But again I might post some on Facebook for friends only. Anywho, ashville next weekend for a blast of a continuing honeymoon.
we are both are so very excited about the wedding. It’s THE wedding of the year! The first time and only time we will get married. We have been together longer than any relationship we have been in. We are a solid rock of pure passion and love. We have been planning this wedding for a very long time! We finally get to have everything we want and do everything we want. This is our time! There is a lot of planning involved. More planning then we thought! We are finally starting to see the end of planning. We have not told anyone but we are going on a mini honeymoon to ashville. I think we have officially reached the point of craziness. Trying to make sure every detail is done before the wedding. We have decided to do a love meditation ritual and a ritual bath. It’s always a good idea to do a ritual of relaxation and love before a wedding. Currently we are debating whether to go to pagan pride or not. There are zero classes that we are interested in this year or have taken just about all of them, and we would rather stay at home and finish the wedding things. BUT it’s not set in stone we still may go for a break out of the house. We have been stressed but having fun. As of right now all of our weekends are booked until after Christmas. We are always on the go. We either have fall activities, camping, kayaking, family visits, or trips to special events. Just thinking about it is crazy. I was planning on attending school this year but I’m glad I didn’t. I’d much rather be able to spend time with my family. I’m teaching at another pagan pride this year and next year will probably teach Raleigh pagan pride. I just didn’t have time or energy to do anything before the wedding!
I have always struggled with my anger. My anger has wore me out so much Ive thought about killing myself. My anger has also led me down a road of regret. Which has also almost ended me. I was never a “cutter” when I tried, I tried to end it. I tried to kill myself about 4 years ago. My ex had left me and i didn’t have my pets, I was living from place to place. I had met with my ex that day at a park in Greenville sc. I told her that I wanted my pets back and I wanted to understand why she left me. I wanted to have a solid reason. Just a month or so earlier we had fought about dinner. There’s no way anyone in their right mind would leave someone over dinner. I don’t remember a lot that happened in the time period of her leaving me through the week after I tried to end it because I was constantly drunk, even at work. I didn’t remain completely sober until I met a couple friends who showed me my mistakes. ( that’s a long drown out story). But I DO remember the park. How could I forget? It’s what finally broke me. My ex told me I wasn’t going to get my animals back because she didn’t have to do anything for me anymore. I told her of my feelings of suicide. She looked at me and said ” I don’t care if that’s what you want then do it”. I couldn’t believe that someone who had asked me to marry them a week before leaving me and had professed their undying love for me only a day before leaving me could even say something like that. I was devastated! I went and got completely trashed and tried to jump off a three story apartment building. A former friend caught me. I stayed up all Night and researched all about suicide and I even called the suicide hotline. I ended up with him telling me that I was right but he still didn’t want me to do it but understood about my pain. Then the next day I stayed sober. I went to the hardware store and bought a hose. I was finally happy! I spent the rest of my day just doing work things and being happy. It was gonna be over soon and my pain would finally end! That night I got drunk and drove up to a parking lot. And attached a hose from my tailpipe into my truck. I sat back and relaxed. I was just waiting for the tiredness to set in!! I was to excited to sleep though! So I drank some more to relax myself. My mom called and I debated not answering the phone. But after all her kid was about to die so I had to give her that! So I answered and she said guess what? I allowed for the bullshit talk. I said what. She said that I was going to have a nephew. I was so excited I jumped out of the truck and cried. I was going to be an uncle. At that point and time it was the best feeling in the world. The ONLY positive thought I had for some time. I rolled down the windows took out the hose and found the hope I needed to survive. I am a survivor! I made it through!
March 1st 2015 my uncle was broken up with and had lived with my parents for awhile when he decided that he could not take the pain anymore. He put a gun to his head in front of family and blew most of his head off. We were all devastated. We had to have him cremated. No one could see him. We are still to this day feeling sad about it. It was tragic. I recently signed up to walk for suicide prevention. And I am raising money for suicide prevention. Today is suicide awareness day and week. I have been known to joke about it and the things people do to support it. Some things seem pointless while others seem better. I want to be fair in this post and say that MY EX HAS CHANGED ALOT! She is not as cold hearted as she was and we have been trying to be there for one another. It took awhile and we still fight from time to time but we always make up. To look back I was always high and drunk and did a lot of things that I’m sure was not right. I also let her believe what others told her about me. Sure a lot of things were not true but I just wasn’t sober enough to even care. Like everyone told her I tried to mess with her job… I never once did. I was not totally innocent in the things I did though. I’m walking in honor of my uncle in October. I really don’t think about the times I almost ended my life. It’s not about me. It’s about others! It’s about my cousin who killed herself when I was young because she didn’t know if the family would except the fact she was gay. It’s about my uncle who killed himself because he thought things would never get better. It’s about friends that have committed suicide it’s about people I don’t even know who have ended their life over a thought that was stuck! It does not matter who you are or how many times you have the feeling or if you are an asshole or the greatest person in the world. No one should ever have to face the struggle of suicide alone. If you or someone you know feels that you need to end your life then talk to someone about it. Getting help is nothing to be ashamed of and you don’t have to go to the hospital. I know a lot of times people don’t want to step forward because they don’t want to go to the hospital but the people I know would sit with you all night till your ok. Even my ex wouldn’t let me die. So if you are thinking about the end then think about talking to someone!